Bdsm Topics

• screw the roses send me the thorns
• molly devon
• sexual sorcery
• mystic rose books
• bdsm relationships
• relationship models
• bdsm relationship
• consensual kink
• social conventions
• responsible partners
• interpersonal relationship
• umbrella term
• sexual intercourse
• phillip miller
• behavioral states
• western ideal
• interpersonal relationships
• psychological states
• psychodrama
• objectification

Related Images

Source

Source

del.icio.us Tags

• bdsm
• wiki
• sexuality
• sex
• article
• encyclopedia
• wikipedia
• bondage
• history
• reference
• writing
• resource
• bd
• fun
• people
• kunst.bodyart
• read
• discipline
• fetish
• misc
• lifestyle
• domination
• sadism
• submission
• masochism

Bdsm, Bdsm

BDSM relationships and practices are exercised under the philosophy of "safe, sane and consensual" (SSC), or the somewhat more permissive philosophy of "risk-aware consensual kink" (RACK).

Beyond these basic tenets of eroticism, and of purposefully unequal roles within an activity or an interpersonal relationship, there is almost nothing which universally unites all the disparate subcultures which are grouped under the umbrella term BDSM. Interpersonal relationships which are based on the social conventions of one of the BDSM subcultures, exist in marked contrast with the current Western ideal of such relationships being based on a partnership between equals.

BDSM subcultures are more tolerant of such alternative relationship models such as polyamory, consensual near-total control of some partners by others, and relationships based upon extended role-playing. The exploration of psychological states such as humiliation or objectification within an erotic BDSM context is not uncommon, nor is the use of psychodrama, or the use of ritual and specifically constructed protocols to evoke and enforce particular emotional, psychological, and behavioral states. While none of these practices is universal to every BDSM relationship, nor even to every BDSM subculture, examples of such physical activities, relationship models, and psychological explorations may be found in many of them.

Sexual intercourse, be it oral, anal or vaginal, may occur within a session, but is not essential. Phillip Miller, Molly Devon, William A. Granzig : Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism. , page 55, Mystic Rose Books 1995, ISBN 0-9645960-0-8 The fundamental principles for the exercise of BDSM require that it should be performed by mature and responsible partners, of their own volition, and in a safe way. Since the 1980s these basic principles have been condensed into the motto "Safe, sane and consensual", abbreviated as SSC, which means that everything is based on safe, sane and consenting behavior of all involved parties. Bill Henkin, Sybil Holiday: Consensual Sadomasochism : How to Talk About It and How to Do It Safely, Page 64, Publisher: Daedalus Publishing Company 2006, ISBN 1881943127 This mutual consent makes a clear legal and ethical distinction between BDSM and crimes such as sexual assault or domestic violence.

These negotiations concern the interests and fantasies of each partner and establish a framework. David Stein: S/Ms Copernican Revolution:From a Closed World to the Infinite Universe and Safe Sane Consensual: The Evolution of a Shibboleth available at s/m-leather history This kind of discussion is a typical "unique selling proposition" of BDSM sessions and quite commonplace. Bill Henkin, Sybil Holiday: Consensual Sadomasochism : How to Talk About It and How to Do It Safely, pages 8094, Daedalus Publishing Company 1996, ISBN 1881943127 Additionally, safewords are often arranged to provide for an immediate stop of any activity if any participant should so desire. Deborah Cameron, Don Kulick: Language and Sexuality, Page 24, Cambridge University Press 2003, ISBN 0521009693 Quick and reliable response to safewords is an imperative for safe BDSM. In case of voice constraints of the bottom, eye contact or hand signs might be the only means of communication and are therefore of very high importance for safety.

It is highly important during bondage sessions to understand which parts of the human body have a risk of damage to nerves and blood vessels by contusion or have a high risk of scar development. Using crop, whips or floggers, the top's fine motor skills and anatomical knowledge can make the difference between a satisfying session for the bottom and a highly unpleasant experience, possibly including severe physical harm. Joseph W. Bean: Flogging, Greenery Press (CA), 2000, ISBN 1890159271 The very broad range of different BDSM "toys" and physical and psychological control techniques often requires a far-reaching knowledge of details related to the requirements of the individual session, such as anatomy, physics, and psychology. Jack Rinella: The Toybag Guide Series, Greenery Press (CA), e.g. The Toybag Guide to Hot Wax and Temperature Play, ISBN 1890159573 Arne Hoffmann, Das Lexikon des Sadomasochismus. Der Inside-Fhrer zur dunklen Erotik: Praktiken und Instrumente, Personen und Institutionen, Literatur und Film, Politik und Philosophie. , Page 42, Schwarzkopf & Schwarzkopf 2000, ISBN 3-896-022-903 (German) Phillip Miller, Molly Devon, William A. Granzig : Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism. , PP. 95, Mystic Rose Books 1995, ISBN 0-9645960-0-8 It is necessary to be able to identify a bottom's psychological "freakouts" in advance in order to avoid it. Such losses of emotional balance due to sensory or emotional overload are the most common SM emergency. It is extremely important to follow his or her reactions empathetically and continue or stop accordingly.

The term "Bondage" describes the practice of restraining for pleasure. Bondage is usually, but not always, a sexual practice. Matthias T. J. Grimme: Das Bondage-Handbuch. Anleitung zum erotischen Fesseln . Charon-Verlag, Hamburg 1999, ISBN 3-931406-16-4. (German) While bondage is a very popular variation within the larger field of BDSM, it is nevertheless sometimes differentiated from the rest of this field. Lee Harrington: Shibari You Can Use: Japanese Rope Bondage and Erotic Macram, Mystic Productions 2007, ISBN 061514490X.

It explores the more mental aspect of BDSM. This is also the case in many relationships not considering themselves as sadomasochistic; it is considered to be a part of BDSM if it is practiced cognizantly. The range of its individual characteristics is thereby wide. with handcuffs and chains. This practice has a distinct effect of immobilization and pain.

In the context of consensual sexual activities, sadism and masochism are not strictly accurate terms; there is a significant difference from the medical or psychological usage of both terms. Sadomasochism refers to the physical aspects of BDSM. Sadism describes sexual pleasure derived by inflicting pain, degradation, or humiliation on another person. On the other hand, the masochist enjoys being bound, spanked or suffering within the consensual scenario. Sadomasochism does not imply enjoyment through causing or receiving pain in other situations (e.g. accidental injury, medical procedures). Discipline often incorporates sadomasochistic aspects. Sadomasochism is practiced in isolation relatively rarely, although certain practices BDSM can be performed solo, such as self-bondage and autoerotic asphyxia, but such practices can be dangerous, at times resulting in injury or death.

Goldberg, Jeff (1988). Anatomy of a Scientific Discovery. Bantam Books, 1988. ISBN 0553346318; ISBN 0553176161 (British edition); ISBN 0553052616 The corresponding trance-like mental state is also known as "subspace" and is regularly described as very comforting. Some use the term "body stress" to describe this physiological sensation. Fries, DS (2002). Opioid Analgesics. In Williams DA, Lemke TL. Foye's Principles of Medicinal Chemistry (5th ed.). Philadelphia: Lippincott Williams & Wilkins. ISBN 0-683-30737-1 This experience of algolagnia is important, but is not the only motivation for many BDSM practitioners. The philosopher Edmund Burke defines this sensation of pleasure derived from pain by the word sublime.

A minority of BDSM practitioners take part in sessions for which they do not receive any personal gratification. They enter such situations solely with the intention to allow their partners to fulfil their own needs and/or fetishes.

The repertoire of possible "toys" is limited only by the imagination of both partners. To some extent, everyday items like clothes-pins, wooden spoons or plastic wrap are used as pervertibles. Claudia Varrin: The Art Of Sensual Female Dominance: A Guide for Women, Citadel, 2000, ISBN 0806520892 It is commonly considered that a pleasurable BDSM experience during a session is very strongly dependent upon the top's competence and experience and the bottom's physical and mental state at the time of the session. Trust and sexual arousal help the partners enter a shared mindset. John Warren, Ph. D: The Loving Dominant, Greenery Press (CA), 2nd Rev Ed, ISBN 1890159204 Bill Henkin, Sybil Holiday: Consensual Sadomasochism : How to Talk About It and How to Do It Safely, Daedalus Publishing Company 1996, ISBN 1881943127 Some BDSM practitioners compare related sensations with musical compositions and representation, in which single sensual impressions are the musical notes of the situation. From this point of view, different sensuous impressions are combined to create a total experience leaving a lasting impression.

The term "Play relations" is used as well, describing two different aspects: First, the expression is used in usual emancipated relationships, in which BDSM is part of, or foreplay to, sexual activities. If several relationships with intense emotional connections exist over a longer time, then there can exist an overlap with the practice of polyamory. Second, the term "play relations" can describe relationships which are based exclusively on the occasional conjoint realization of sexual fantasies as a common goal and in which no further relationship exists.

At one end of the spectrum are those who are indifferent to, or even reject, physical stimulations. At the other end of the range are Bottoms who enjoy physical and psychological stimulations but are not willing to be subordinate to the person who applies these. The Bottom is frequently the partner who specifies the basic conditions of the session and gives instructions, directly or indirectly, in the prelude to the session, while the Top often respects this guidance. Other Bottoms try to control their Top by provoking reactions or "misbehaving" to attract interest. Nevertheless a small, very puristic "school" exists within the BDSM community, which regards such "Topping from the Bottom" as incompatible with the standards of BDSM relations.

There are many reasons for this. Sometimes a switch lives in a relationship with a partner of the same primary preference (for example, two Tops), so switching represents the only possibility of being able to fulfill all of his or her BDSM needs within the relationship. Some people change roles without regarding themselves as Switches, since they do it only very irregularly or only under certain circumstances.

In D/s, and especially in TPE relationships, changes in the balance of power (so-called "Switching") do not take place. TPE relationships probably represent the least common role behavior within the BDSM spectrum.

Many people hide their leaning from society since they are afraid of the incomprehension and of social exclusion. It is commonly known in the BDSM culture that there are practitioners living on all continents, but there is no documented evidence for many countries (due to restrictive laws and censorship motivated by politics or religion) except their presence in online BDSM communities and dating sites.

North American cities that have large BDSM communities include New York City, Atlanta, Seattle, Los Angeles, Boston, Chicago, Houston, Philadelphia, San Francisco, San Diego, Dallas, Minneapolis, Toronto, Winnipeg, and Vancouver.

The use of piercings is not scene typical anymore. While it was mainly bound to the Punk and BDSM subcultures in the 1990s, it has spread into wide parts of the western populations today.

In continental Europe the Ring of O is widespread among BDSM practitioners. The Triskelion, while quite common in the Anglo-Saxon communities, is less common in Europe.

For example, it is sometimes assumed that a submissive would prefer to experience pain and degradation in their everyday life, or conversely, that they would prefer to have exactly the opposite. There is no clear correlation between the position in everyday life and BDSM preferences. A further misunderstanding is that members of BDSM communities want only to be hurt or to inflict physical, psychological and mental pain, which diminishes and disparages the emotional and spiritual relationships that develop.

Quite often the picture of BDSM is reduced to the idea of crude corporal punishment, neglecting the broad spectrum of behaviors within the culture. Along with the whip-swinging dominatrix, the sadomasochist in full leather regalia is another common clich. While overlaps between different kinds of fetishism can exist, there is no inevitable connection between BDSM and fetishisms (e.g.: latex, PVC or leather). The frequent occurrence of such clothing can be partly explained by its function as a quasi-formalized dress code. The relative openness towards alternative lifestyles results in fetishisms being more substantially lived within the culture of BDSM than in other cultures.

Due to the lack of information in the total population and the reluctance with many to come out about matters of an extremely personal nature leads to situations in which actions and statements of individual BDSM practitioners are accredited to the community at large just as the larger LGBT community has been characterized by drag queens and other minority communities similarly mischaracterized.

Within feminist circles there are two basic positions within the discussion: a sadophobe faction on the one side (see Alice Schwarzer) and a sex-positive on the other (see Samois); both of them can be traced back to the 1970s. Alice Schwarzer: "Weiblicher Masochismus ist Kollaboration!" from EMMA Heft 2, 1991 Opponents of BDSM contend that it can lead to domestic violence.

Alice Schwarzer, Emma Heft 2, 1991 Sex-positive feminists argue that consensual BDSM activities are enjoyed by some women and validate the sexual inclinations of these women.

While some radical feminists suggest connections between consensual BDSM scenes and non-consensual rape and sexual assault, sex-positive feminists may tend to find this insulting to women. Gayle Rubin: Thinking Sex: Notes for a Radical Theory of the Politics of Sexuality . In Carole S. Vance (Ed.), Pleasure and Danger: exploring female sexuality , pp. 267319. Routledge & Kegan Paul, Boston 1984. ISBN 0-04-440867-6 Wendy McElroy: A Woman's Right to Pornography . Saint Martin's Press 1997, ISBN 0312152450 It is often mentioned that in BDSM, roles are not fixed to gender, but personal preferences. Several studies on the correlation of BDSM pornography and the violence against women recapitulate that there is no correlation. Japan is a useful example: a country which has the lowest rate of sexual crimes of all industrialized nations while being well known for its comprehensive BDSM- and Bondage pornography (see Pornography in Japan).

Nevertheless it leads to a difficult psychological situation in which the person concerned can be exposed to high levels of emotional stress. Charles Moser, in Journal of Social Work and Human Sexuality 1988, (7;1, S.43-56) In the stages of "self awareness" , he or she realizes their desires related to BDSM scenarios and/or decides to be open for such. Some authors call this internal coming-out . Two separate surveys on this topic independently came to the conclusion that 58 percent and 67 percent of the sample respectively, had realized their disposition before their nineteenth birthday. Other surveys on this topic show comparable results. Spengler, Andreas: Sadomasochisten und ihre Subkulturen , Campus Verlag, 1979, Frankfurt am Main / New York (German) Datenschlag survey (German) Independent of age, coming-out can potentially result in a difficult life crisis, sometimes leading to thoughts or acts of suicide. While homosexuals have created support networks in the last decades, sadomasochistic support networks are just starting to develop in most countries. In German speaking countries they are only moderately more developed. Eva Daschek und Axel Konrad: Empirische Untersuchung ber den Zusammenhang zwischen ausgewhlten Faktoren und inklinierendem sexuellem Sadomasochismus , online sm-study (German) The internet is the prime contact point for support groups today, allowing for local and international networking. In the US Kink Aware Professionals (KAP) a privately funded, non-profit service provides the community with referrals to psychotherapeutic, medical, and legal professionals who are knowledgeable about and sensitive to the BDSM, fetish, and leather community.

In 1996 the website and mailing list Datenschlag went online in German and English providing the largest bibliography, as well as one of the most extensive historical collections of sources related to BDSM.

A reason for the relatively fast spread of this kind of event is the opportunity to use a wide range of "playing equipment", which in most apartments or houses is unavailable. Slings, St. Andrews crosses (or similar restraining constructs), spanking benches, and punishing supports or cages are often made available. The problem of noise disturbance is also lessened at these events, while in the home setting many BDSM activities can be limited by this factor. In addition, such parties offer both exhibitionists and voyeurs a forum to indulge their inclinations without social approbation. In order to ensure the maximum safety and comfort for the participants certain standards of behavior have evolved, these include aspects of courtesy, privacy, respect and safewords among others.

Social control of these parties and/or in the clubs is far higher than in a normal discothque. Consensuality in the public BDSM sessions is strictly enforced. Apart from commercial events there are also privately organized or only moderately profit-oriented parties, which are organized by BDSM groups and individuals. Minors are not allowed at parties or clubs.

Estimation on the overall percentage of BDSM related sexual behavior in the general population range from 5 to 25 percent, depending on the scientific objectives. for the full transcript.

Brokmann, Angela: Macht und Erotik , 1996, Sexologisches Institut e. V. Hamburg, Hamburg (German) Person, Ethel S. / Terestman, Nettie / Myers, Wayne A. / Goldberg, Eugene L. / Salvadori, Carol: Gender differences in sexual behaviors and fantasies in a college population , 1989, in: Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy , Bd. 15, No. 3, 1989, P. 187198 Breslow, Norman: SM Research Report, v1.1 , 1999 In a representative study published in 1999 by the German Institut fr rationale Psychologie, about two thirds of the interviewed women stated a desire to be at the mercy of their sexual partners from time to time. 69% admitted to fantasies dealing with sexual submissiveness, 42% stated interest in explicit BDSM techniques, 25% in bondage. Arne Hoffmann, Lexikon der Tabubrche , Schwarzkopf&Schwarzkopf, 2003, ISBN 3896025171 (German) A 1976 study in the general U.S. population suggests three percent have had positive experiences with Bondage or master-slave role playing. Overall 12% of the interviewed females and 18% of the males were willing to try it. "What's Really Happening on Campus", Playboy October 1976, S. 128-131, 160-164, 169. (see Charles Moser / Eugene E. Levitt: An Exploratory-Descriptive Study of a Sadomasochistically Oriented Sample , in Journal of Sex Research , Vol. 23, 1987, P. 322-337.) Thomas S. Weinberg (Ed.): S&M: Studies in Dominance and Submission , Prometheus Books, New York 1995, ISBN 087975978X A 1990 Kinsey Institute report stated that 5% to 10% of Americans occasionally engage in sexual activities related to BDSM. 11% of men and 17% of women reported trying bondage. Walter Lowe: The Playboy Readers' Sex Survey. 1983.

Following the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-10) sadomasochism is categorized a "Disorder of sexual preference" (F65.5) and described as follows: "A preference for sexual activity which involves the infliction of pain or humiliation, or bondage. If the subject prefers to be the recipient of such stimulation this is called masochism; if the provider, sadism. Often an individual obtains sexual excitement from both sadistic and masochistic activities." ICD-10 2007 With the publication of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV) in 1994 new criteria of diagnosis were available describing BDSM clearly not as disorders of sexual preferences. They are now not regarded as illnesses in and of themselves. The DSM-IV asserts that "The fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors" must "cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning" in order for sexual sadism or masochism to be considered a disorder. The manuals' latest edition (DSM-IV-TR) requires that the activity must be the sole means of sexual gratification for a period of six (6) months, and either cause "clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning" or involve a violation of "Consent" to be diagnosed as a paraphilia.

He emphasizes that there is no evidence for the theory that BDSM has common symptoms or any common psychopathology; Clinical literature, though does not give a consistent picture of BDSM practitioners. Moser emphasizes that there is no evidence at all supporting the theory of BDSM practitioners having any special psychiatric problems or even problems based solely on their preferences.

The researchers found that BDSM practitioners were no more likely to have experienced sexual assault than the control group, and were not more likely to feel unhappy or anxious. The BDSM males reported higher levels of psychological well-being than the controls. It was concluded that "BDSM is simply a sexual interest attractive to a minority, not a pathological symptom of past abuse or difficulty with normal sex." Richters, Juliet; Visser, Richard De; Grulich, Andrew; and Rissel, Chris (2008). "Selected Abstracts of Presentations During the World Congress of Sexology, 2007: Demographic and Psychosocial Features of Participants in BDSM Sex: Data From a National Survey," Journal of Sex Research , 45(2), pp. 90117.

The medieval phenomenon of courtly love in all of its slavish devotion and ambivalence has been suggested by some writers to be a precursor of BDSM. Denis de Rougemont (1956), Love in the Western World: Describing the ideal of chast love influenced by the Cathar doctrines Arne Hoffmann: In Leder gebunden. Der Sadomasochismus in der Weltliteratur , Page 11, Ubooks 2007, ISBN 3866080786 (German) Some sources claim that BDSM as a distinct form of sexual behavior originated at the beginning of the eighteenth century when Western civilization began medically and legally categorizing sexual behavior (see Etymology). There are reports of brothels specializing in flagellation as early as 1769, and John Cleland's novel Fanny Hill , published in 1749, mentions a flagellation scene. John Cleland: Fanny Hill: Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure, Penguin Classics, (January 7, 1986), ISBN 0140432493 Page 180 ff Other sources give a broader definition, citing BDSM-like behavior in earlier times and other cultures, such as the medieval flagellates and the physical ordeal rituals of some Native American societies.

Irving Klaw, during the 1950s and 1960s, produced some of the first commercial film and photography with a BDSM theme (most notably with Bettie Page) and published comics by the now-iconic bondage artists John Willie and Eric Stanton.

The artists Helmut Newton and Robert Mapplethorpe are the most prominent examples of the increasing use of BDSM-related motives in modern photography and the public discussions still resulting from this.

Besides countless private and commercial choices there is an increasing number of local networks and support groups emerging. These groups often offer comprehensive background and health related information for people who have been unwillingly outed as well as contact lists with information on psychologists, physicians and lawyers who are familiar with BDSM related topics.

The BDSM scene tried to distinguish themselves with the expression "B&D" for bondage and discipline from the sometimes pejorative connotations of the term "S&M". The abbreviation BDSM itself was probably coined in the early 1990s in the subculture connected with the Usenet newsgroup alt.sex.bondage. The earliest posting with the term which is now preserved in Google Groups dates from June 1991. Later the dominance and submission dimension was integrated into the connotation of BDSM, creating the multilevel acronym common today.

Criminalization of consensually implemented BDSM practices is usually not with explicit reference to BDSM, but results from the fact that such behavior as spanking or cuffing someone could be considered a breach of personal rights, which in principle constitutes a criminal offense. In Germany, The Netherlands, Japan and Scandinavia, such behavior is legal in principle. In Austria the legal status is not clear, while in Switzerland some BDSM practices can be considered criminal. Spectacular incidents like the US-American scandal of People v. Jovanovic and the British Operation Spanner demonstrate the degree to which difficult grey areas can pose a problem for the individuals and authorities involved.

This concept is that anyone willingly causing "injury" to another person is to be punished. In this context, though, "injury" is legally defined as "anything causing a condition of illness", and "illness" is ill-defined itself in two different legal ways. The first is "any anatomical or functional alteration of the organism" (thus technically including little scratches and bruises too); The second is "a significant worsening of a previous condition relevant to organic and relational processes, requiring any kind of therapy". This makes somewhat risky to play with someone, as later the "victim" might call for foul play using any sort of little mark as evidence against the partner. Also, any injury requiring over 20 days of medical care must be denounced by the professional medic who discovers it, leading to automatic indictment of the person who caused it. BDSM play between nonconsenting adults or minors or in public is of course punished according to "normal" laws.

Children (i.e. those under 16) are not subject to punishment for BDSM play as long as the age difference between them is less than three years.

Source: Wikipedia > Bdsm